How Can I Help? Maybe Just Llisten

How Can I Help? Maybe Just Listen

One of the most amazing things I have learned from attending recovery meetings is how to practice empathy. I didn't know it when I first started attending, but I recognize it now. When people share, we listen. Nothing else. We may comment on a similar issue we are struggling with, or a past issue we have resolved, but really - we just listen. We learn to be witness to laughter, to pain and to redemption.

I have been at meetings at which a person has shared, pausing that one moment to collect themselves to avoid crying, and the room becomes absolutely still. No shuffling of feet, no rustling of clothes, no one gets up for coffee or sits down from just having entered the room. The antenna for listening are so acutely and accurately tuned into that person, listening with hearts so open no sound is made. This is empathy,

I have an amazing judgy mind. I listen, I process, I move into solution finding. I want to help and helping requires me to advise, to suggest, to eradicate pain with resolution. THIS IS NOT HELPFUL. This is not true understanding. I may hear, but I am denying the speaker their own wisdom, and the time they need to discover it. This is me, coming from my ego and not from my heart.

We are asked to be of service to others in recovery. While it is suggested we share our experience, strength and hope, we have to time that well, and discern when it is useful. Sometimes just being there is the strongest and most steadfast help we can be. Just for today- I will listen and keep you company while you feel your feelings. If you ask I will share, until then know this:

May I become an island for those seeking dry land A lamp for those needing light, A place of rest for those who desire one, And a servant for those needing service. -  Shantideva, "May I Become an Island" Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500 Author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. She is currently completing her next book for Central Recovery Press:”A Yogic Guide Through The Steps”. Kyczy has been teaching recovery focused yoga classes since 2008.  Taking the foundation of a traditional yoga training she received from the Lotus Yoga Teacher Association (of the Himalayan Yoga Institute), she has combined the wisdom and inspiration from other teachers along the way creating S.O.A.R.™ a program to help prepare yoga teachers to bring the practice to people in recovery.   You can join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 8am PT (11 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting. Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.