Refresh and Renew - Simply

The New Year - a new calendar, a new page, a new beginning- time to remove the dust from the "beginner's mind" and take a chance on the unknown.

 

Today - this day, this 29th of December, I will start the practice of looking at the day without pre- judgment, without expectation, without attachment.  Looking at my agenda I will be where I need to be, WHOLE heartedly. I will show up where I said I would show up and be present to what unfolds.

This doesn't mean I go into the day without a plan! I move into each situation with the respect of proper attention and preparation, but I let go of the unfolding. Rather than planning in detail what I will do or what I will say- I will let go of the particulars and be present. Like a kid I will run out into the playground of life, eager, looking around for my friends and right activity, and then plunge in- without a care.

Relinquishing is the ground for practicing 'beginner’s mind.' It helps us see things anew, as they really are; to be willing to listen to the thoughts and ideas of others with an open mind. So the relinquishing of thoughts and ideas about which we have been adamant can give us a sense of freedom, joy, and spaciousness.

—Allan Lokos, "Lighten Your Load"

Family IN and Family OUT

It has taken several years. I am, in this moment, at peace with my family.  Part of this has to do with the fact I am now an orphan. I no longer am in active enmeshment with my parents - or avoiding the old dramas, nor creating new ones.

I am also a step back and away from my adult children, finally letting go and seeing them as individuals rather than off-spring.

I have come to realize that all people in my family are not in response to or reflections of me. They are themselves. That way I can approach them, what they do, how they act and respond to others - with compassion and allow them autonomy. The situations flow through around me and I respond with an open heart.

I breathe in and I breathe out - I hold my family as loosely as my breath.

Love to you and your families and your relationships.  Be well 

Manifesting a spiritual practice with our family is extremely difficult, but it’s also really simple. We don’t get carried away by our emotions; we don’t affirm our position at the expense of where others are coming from. But we do our best to open our arms, open our heart, and let what we've got inside us flow out into the situation and let the situation outside flow into us. In that process, we lose ourselves.
- Shozan Jack Haubner, "Drama or Dharma"

Becoming Aware and Taking Action

To set the stage: while "defilement" is a strong word- it is as correct as phrases such as "toxic" thinking, or "poisonous" ponderings.  The opposite of defilement is purification. We observe saucha, cleanliness, in yoga and right thinking in recovery.

So: when I become aware of my defects and defenses of un-useful thinking, when I develop expectations, grasping or evasion, I have the gift of becoming aware. In recovery I use the sixth step to acknowledge these, and for a cleaner more wholesome life, a life of less suffering, I look toward the seventh step, look to letting go, turning them over. 

If the holidays create difficulty; if closer family connections bring a painful level of expectations, old communication patterns, "should"s or "shouldn't"s, when advertising creates needs where there previously were none, it is good to remember this. Release the defilements of attachment, aversion, expectation and disappointment.

And as S. Armstrong says: it isn't really enough to see them; I must also practice disengaging from them. This is when the suffering will cease.

Seeing attachment, aversion, expectation, and disappointment as they arise allows the mind to understand and to disengage from them. Awareness breaks the spell; the mind is no longer enchanted when we see the defilement for what it is. When a defilement has no hold on the mind, suffering ceases.Steve Armstrong, Got Attitude?

Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500

Author “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” and “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” among others. She is the founder of S.O.A.R.(™) Success Over Addiction and Relapse

Join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 7am PT (10 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting.

A leader of Y12SR (Yoga of 12 Step Recovery) classes for nearly five years and a devoted teacher to people in treatment centers and in jail- Kyczy created a teacher training program for others who wish to work in this field.  

More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.