Without denial and avoidance I want to understand and unify my selves.
I don't want to repress the negative, unpleasant or unlovely thoughts and feelings I have. I don't want to deny them. Nor do I want to perseverate and stubbornly repeat them obscuring the positive.
l don't know if you have done this, but I surely have. I have a negative emotion (resentment, fear, even concern) and I roll it over in my mind like a favorite hard candy, savoring it and exploring it - nearly hoping it will not dissolve and disappear. I am all about the suffering. Not purposely to suffer, but to be sure I am getting it all. I may hold on to it long beyond its informative value.
On the other hand I don't want to crunch and swallow (to continue the image) barely understanding the flavor of my difficulty. Hurt feelings, fears about change, remorse over past actions- these do require examination so I can mine the lesson, the purpose the usefulness of the negativity. Then I have to let it go. I need to let go of the division between pleasant and unpleasant; the separation between "me" and my experiences, good and bad.
By focussing exclusively on one part of me, one experience rather than the whole, I cut myself into pieces and focus on better or a worse parts of myself.
I am both, I am all, I am complete. I am difficulty and I am ease. I am challenge and I am simplicity. I am hurt and I am peace. It is the separation and the denial of any part that causes or enhances discomfort.
Just for today I will accept it all, in and out, "bad" and "good", easy and difficult. I will practice being whole; integrated and varied.
Most human beings spend their lives battling with opposing inner forces: what they think they should do versus what they are doing; how they feel about themselves versus how they are; whether they think they’re right and worthy or wrong and unworthy. The separate self is just the conglomeration of these opposing forces. When the self drops away, inner division drops away with it.
- Adyashanti, "The Taboo of Enlightenment"
BIO:
Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500
Author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. She is currently completing her next book for Central Recovery Press:”Yogic Tools for Recovery: A Guide for Working the Twelve Steps”.
Kyczy has been teaching recovery focused yoga classes since 2008. Taking the foundation of a traditional yoga training she received from the Lotus Yoga Teacher Association (of the Himalayan Yoga Institute), she has combined the wisdom and inspiration from other teachers along the way creating S.O.A.R.™ a program to help prepare yoga teachers to bring the practice to people in recovery.
You can join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 8am PT (11 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting.
Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.
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