What is behind all the noise in my mind?

What Is Behind The Noise In My Mind?

Some days I am truly vexed by the running and re-running of a series of unuseful thoughts. Old tapes with false information about who I am, how worthy (or actually UNworthy) I am, my lack of skills or abilities, my looks and so on run incessantly in my brain. These unkind rumors cast a pall on my daily activities, my relationships with others and ruin the spontaneity of joyful living. Sometimes the silent radio of this false information is so incessant that I wonder if there is any reason to be here.

This mind noise is a Big Fat Lie. I am not, I could not be, as bad, failing, lacking, valueless, as this mind chatter makes me seem. I don't have to be enthused with every activity, every action, every connection in my life for life to be of value. The negative thoughts are casting a pall over life; life is worthy. So am I.

The discipline of finding and listening to my wisdom inner mind comes from practice. Practice redirecting the negative, purging the negative by leaving it alone rather than yelling at it, and sitting in meditation. Yes, meditation not only gives me a period of time where my intention is to be at peace- that intention flows through my day. It takes time, it takes discipline and the results are comforting. 

I am fine, I am enough; if I don't know how to do something I can learn it and I can get help. In time I can go even deeper and live in that space where I trust my own inner wisdom to guide, nurture and sustain me.

Dismiss all the thoughts which bother your mind. Train yourself during many days, many months, many years, to retain this pure mind. One day, when your empty mind has become crystallized, suddenly it will be illumined by its own intrinsic wisdom. At that instant you will realize the state of pure awakening. - Sokei-an, "Return to Your Original State!" 

And then there is this wonderful article about the brain: https://tinyurl.com/yagwql2x

Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500 is the author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. Her new book:”Yogic Tools for Recovery: A Guide for Working the Twelve Steps” and it’s workbook are available now.
Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.

What Unlovely Feelings Of Envy Can Tell Us

When I look at something or someone and I think to myself "I want this" or "I want to be like that" or "Why can't I have /be/ do/ look like" something other than I am, do, or appear like; it gives me a clue. It gives me a clue about a direction I wish to take, a skill I want to acquire, a behavior I wish to adopt.

There are two parts to this envy - one is the direction of growth that I should consider in order that envy does not remain a dead end of negative feelings, of exalting another and demeaning myself. 

The other part is to recognize that this thing, this attribute, this "look" came at a price for the other person. They made choices, became educated, gained experience, practiced a certain lifestyle to have whatever it is I want: stuff, wisdom, information, status, "notoriety", skill and so on. If I want that THING - I also need to want the whole package: the dedication, the investment, the work, the discipline and so on.

Be sweet with myself, calm and understanding. If I would like THAT, I must do THIS. If not- celebrate the other person for their dedication and choices for having that which I admire.

Avoidance of envy, if it was ever feasible, is a dinosaur gone extinct. The trick is to steer ourselves toward the emotion’s beneficial side. . . .  envy can bring us closer to what we dearly want to attain, and help us course-correct, if necessary, to get ourselves back on track.

- Louisa Kamps, "In Defense of Envy"

Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500

Author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. Her new book:”Yogic Tools for Recovery: A Guide for Working the Twelve Steps” and it’s workbook are available now.

You can join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 8am PT (11 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting.

Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com. 

Unifying the Divided Self

Without denial and avoidance I want to understand and unify my selves.

I don't want to repress the negative, unpleasant or unlovely thoughts and feelings I have. I don't want to deny them. Nor do I want to perseverate and stubbornly repeat them obscuring the positive. 

l don't know if you have done this, but I surely have. I have a negative emotion (resentment, fear, even concern) and I roll it over in my mind like a favorite hard candy, savoring it and exploring it - nearly hoping it will not dissolve and disappear. I am all about the suffering. Not purposely to suffer, but to be sure I am getting it all. I may hold on to it long beyond its informative value.

On the other hand I don't want to crunch and swallow (to continue the image) barely understanding the flavor of my difficulty. Hurt feelings, fears about change, remorse over past actions- these do require examination so I can mine the lesson, the purpose the usefulness of the negativity. Then I have to let it go. I need to let go of the division between pleasant and unpleasant; the separation between "me" and my experiences, good and bad.

By focussing exclusively on one part of me, one experience rather than the whole, I cut myself into pieces and focus on better or a worse parts of myself.

I am both, I am all, I am complete. I am difficulty and I am ease. I am challenge and I am simplicity. I am hurt and I am peace. It is the separation and the denial of any part that causes or enhances discomfort.

Just for today I will accept it all, in and out, "bad" and "good", easy and difficult. I will practice being whole; integrated and varied.

Ending the Internal Divide

Most human beings spend their lives battling with opposing inner forces: what they think they should do versus what they are doing; how they feel about themselves versus how they are; whether they think they’re right and worthy or wrong and unworthy. The separate self is just the conglomeration of these opposing forces. When the self drops away, inner division drops away with it. - Adyashanti, "The Taboo of Enlightenment" BIO: Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500 Author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. She is currently completing her next book for Central Recovery Press:”Yogic Tools for Recovery: A Guide for Working the Twelve Steps”. Kyczy has been teaching recovery focused yoga classes since 2008.  Taking the foundation of a traditional yoga training she received from the Lotus Yoga Teacher Association (of the Himalayan Yoga Institute), she has combined the wisdom and inspiration from other teachers along the way creating S.O.A.R.™ a program to help prepare yoga teachers to bring the practice to people in recovery.   You can join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 8am PT (11 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting. Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.

Healthy Habits of the Mind

Samskara is the sanskrit word describing the condition of mind patterns, the ruts in the mind that we go to through habit. We may find ourselves falling in to them most easily when we are emotionally, physically, energetically, intellectually or spiritually impaired.  

Most often it is an unhealthy software routine that doesn't bring us new information or insights; merely reinforcing and repeating an unhealthy and unhelpful pattern of thought. Ruminating over worries, things we cannot change, fears and insecurities and, often, our negative feelings about another, each time we repeat these negative patterns they become easier to access. It takes effort to change.

Whether it is jealousy, anger or a resentment, by repeating the cause in your mind you are deepening the pattern of thought.  Try instead to make a NEW THOUGHT PATTERN, a healthy one.  Try this:

“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free.Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness,and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th Edition, pg. 552 Freedom From Bondage

Kyczy Hawk 500RYT, 200E-RYT is a yoga teacher and author. She has recently published "Life in Bite Sized Morsels". "Yoga And The Twelve Step Path" was released in 2012.

The founder of S.O.A.R.™ Success Over Addiction and Relapse, she teaches recovery oriented yoga online and in person. Kyczy also leads recovery infused yoga classes online with Studio Live TV. 

Read more on her website: www.yogarecovery.com