Some of you may know that I deactivated my FB account. As I told a dear friend of mine- it was all about ME not THEM. No one had hurt me. I am able to scroll by the unpleasant, the challenging, and the ludicrous. I just couldn't take it anymore.
I had fired myself a while ago and I found it a relief but then I jumped back in. And I was glad- right after the March I found out that we could lift one another and that was good. In reviewing posts I can move toward the healthy and the healing. I can avoid the traps of gossip, negativity and even let go of comparison as people share about the "Side A" of life- imagining that that were the whole story- forgetting about the unlovely "Side B'.
But even that wasn't it. It was the idea that a scroll and a "like" might mean true intimacy, friendship or even genuine support. I have felt like a fraud when someone has come up to me with all the joy and openhearted acceptance of a long time friend- someone I don't recognize- and discover we have been friends on FB for five years. I am disconsolate. I am a fraud.
I yearn for true friendship- one that takes effort, one that requires the reservation of a block of time to talk, to share a meal or a call. I feel isolated even when I run through the feeds activities from others, I am alone in front of my screen truly WASTING away, wasting time that I could spend in the company of a human.
I am afraid that the distraction of FB and other social media (Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and all of them) keep me isolated and "the part that is heartbroken at the loneliness and isolation of the life we are living—the part that requires medication and constant distraction just to endure it." may indeed be rekindled.
I don't want to risk emotional relapse by being so lonely it hurts and so isolated I look to shopping, scrolling / trolling, mindless eating and so on to fill the hole.
I need my spirit back.
There's a tension between the part of us that wants to move along at speed, infatuated with our ever-proliferating array of screens and gadgets, and the part of us that deeply hates them, too. There's the part that doesn't want to be bothered with other people's lives and is therefore comfortable with the false proximity that social media affords. But there's also the part that is heartbroken at the loneliness and isolation of the life we are living—the part that requires medication and constant distraction just to endure it.
- Clark Strand, "A Gleeful Foreboding"
Kyczy Hawk RYT E-500
Author of “Yoga and the Twelve Step Path” , “Life in Bite-Sized Morsels” and “From Burnout to Balance” she continues to submit articles to recovery and yoga oriented publications. She is currently completing her next book for Central Recovery Press:”Yogic Tools for Recovery: A Guide for Working the Twelve Steps”.
Kyczy has been teaching recovery focused yoga classes since 2008. Taking the foundation of a traditional yoga training she received from the Lotus Yoga Teacher Association (of the Himalayan Yoga Institute), she has combined the wisdom and inspiration from other teachers along the way creating S.O.A.R.™ a program to help prepare yoga teachers to bring the practice to people in recovery.
You can join Kyczy and a host of other people in recovery every Sunday morning at 8am PT (11 am ET) on In The Rooms for the Yoga Recovery meeting.
Kyczy is very proud of her family; husband, kids, and grandkids, all who amaze her in unique and wonderful ways. More about her work can be found at www.yogarecovery.com.