Love with curiosity unblemished by judgement or the desire to control is a love that can grow and last.
Conditional love is actually commerce- I will give or feel affection if /when you do this or provide that. Authentic love is a clear stream that doesn't condem the rocks and twigs in its path- it just continues to flow.
Love that is waiting for a person to change or bloom is nearly disrepeactful. "I am here ready to love you, when you grow up, get a job, stop doing this, start doing that, express yourself to me more clearly, know what I want , learn what I need" etc. Loving someone's (potentially) future self is using up their present with your desired future.
Love that is authentic; curious about the changing nature of a person, giving them (and yourself) room to grow is a rare and beautiful thing. The now YOU loving the now THEM with respect and honor.
This is as true with another as it is between you and yourself. Love your present self with curiousity, the invitation to grow without demand or trajectory.
But the desire for knowledge has another form, belonging to an entirely different set of emotions. The mystic, the lover, and the poet are also seekers after knowledge… In all forms of love we wish to have knowledge of what is loved, not for purposes of power but for the ecstasy of contemplation… Wherever there is ecstasy or joy or delight derived from an object there is the desire to know that object — to know it not in the manipulative fashion that consists of turning it into something else, but to know it in the fashion of the beatific vision, because in itself and for itself it sheds happiness upon the lover. This may indeed be made the touchstone of any love that is valuable.
- Bertrand Russell
Upcoming book November 2017: "Yogic Tools For Recovery: A Guide to Worksing the Twelve Steps" by CRP.